What Swiss Hates

What can you say about the Philippines?

This was one of my questions asked to my Swiss friend. He said, “Philippines in general is good, but what I don’t like in Manila is that there are lots of thieves!” When I heard his answer, I couldn’t deny myself to divert our conversation to other topic. However, this made me think why Manila has lots of thieves.

I was numb. Dumb. I couldn’t utter even a single word. I was embarrassed.

I remembered when I have had my first adventure in Manila, I was very afraid when I saw the man how he forcefully grabbed the pair of earings of the old woman while we were riding in a jeepney. This made me think several twice why people are like that. I couldn’t exactly give an exact answer to my question instead I presumed that this is the cause of poverty.

When I was already in the province, then I coincidentally recalled this incident as part of our discussion, one of my students replied me that the reason why people said to be thieves because this is how the parents shape their lives. Another one answered that people used to be robber because they didn’t like to exert more effort to earn money except to steal wealth from others. All of my students were disagree, they said, this is the cause of poverty.

Within Our Heart

One day, I decided to attend mass with fifteen pesos in my coin purse; five pesos for my fare going to the church; another five pesos as my fare for going home; and, other five pesos used to buy bread for my supper.
After the mass, I went to the bakery to buy bread worth of five pesos. When I was about to leave the portal of the bakery, I accidentally met a vanguard old woman who waited and barely opened her hand for alms. I just thought for a few minutes if I should have to give the bread or the money either; but, how could I knowing that this was only my food for my supper and if I should give my money how could I go for home; I asked myself, do I need to take a walk for how many kilometers away from home? Did I have fasting for a night?
These are the two questions that put me into dilemma; however, I was bothered by my social conscience, which led me bring to mind the story in the bible about the existence of the bird; if the bird could survive without caretaker why couldn’t I. So, without much ado, I took for granted all my thoughts of fears instead I heartily gave them all to the vanguard old woman chilling from hunger and thirst as my naked eyes witnessed her .
As an ordinary person like the woman, I felt sorry for her. I was dismantled with the plight of life on earth. I never evaded myself to shed my tears of pity. I never denied myself to purge all my emotions thinking for the irresponsible relative of the woman letting her to wander at the street asking for food and penny from the passerby.
How disgusting these creatures indeed!
While on my way imagining the quandary of this woman, I remembered my friend who was teaching at the catholic school nearby the church. I suddenly turned my trembling empathy to look for my friend in her classroom just to tell her my story. As I narrated my story, my friend did not hold her tears of empathy towards me because she couldn’t believe what I did to the woman. She commended me for having a cross in my heart. She said that I am in the heart of God. After our short reflection, I bid her farewell; but, before I leave her, she gave me one hundred pesos. Thank you was my words of appreciation that I could only share with her.
Ten pesos times ten became one hundred pesos. This was the value of being charitable to others. This is the worth that could never be paid by some of money, but could only be treasured within our heart.










April 12, 2008
Almeda’s Boardinghouse
Legazpi City

An Advice

Are you still depressed by the catastrophes made by your life? Well, get out of it and listen to me.
When you feel that you are in a state of despondency; still, look up to your stars in the atmosphere where helps you find meaning in your life; they are there watching over you; they are there smiling at you between the sullen night and moonlit night; they are there helping you realize that life is sometimes dark and sometimes bright. Always remember, there is always the dark and bright side of life. So, accept them and be a star. However, be humble to yourself; look back to where you are from; control your imagination about your past; let it be a challenge and lesson of your new life. Don’t grab those opportunities you think can cause of another mistakes because once you get mistake you will never bring back the trust that people give you; So, be honest at all times because this only thing that lives up your integrity. Dishonesty always lessens your credibility even how intelligent and workaholic you are; avoid getting loose with your freedom because once you forget to limit your self with it you are always in the bad track beyond your desire; again, regret is always the main curse of your action. Believe in karma. Everything you do is not only for yourself, but for the common good. Don’t waste your time, because the only people who waste there time are those who never succeed in their endeavor. Always acknowledge those people who are part of your success. Never get loose of your temper when sudden misfortunes come your way instead recognize them and let it be a simple key to your emptiness. Always give importance to those people who are just ordinary in your eyes because they are also human beings who have the same aspiration like you. If you have time to talk with them; talk and listen to them. They are the source of wisdom in life. They are unfortunate, yet gifted in tongue. Don’t underestimate what other people can’t do instead help them to grow. Always listen to what other people say about you because they are your mirror. Be oftentimes not in positive way of life because the more you become optimist the more you gain frustration; so, always use your mind and heart constantly in seeking the right decision where you are belong to. Give ample time to think the paradoxes of life and make a list of your choices for you to choose the right answer of what you aspire for.
When your tears are about to fall, let it be. Never think that you are helpless. Never think that you are weak. Never think what other people say about you. Later, you will realize the value of tears. Every tear of your eyes does not show how coward you are, but it expresses positive view of life; making your life colorful and peaceful. Always remember, when tears are about to fall, God is always there giving you His comfort.

Move on! Try to be happy even it is against your will.



















April 3, 2008
Almeda’s Boarding House
Legazpi City

Baruto

This is the common term used to call for the boat used by my father. This is to say the instrument to fish in the Pacific Ocean that helps us to survive from hunger and ignorance to education.
I remembered when my mind was young and full of innocence; my father woke up at three o’clock in the morning just to cook our food; for my baon to school and I scanned my notes for the next lesson and observed him while he was preparing his food for fishing.
When he was about to leave home, He never forgot to remind me to fix myself before going to school and I accompanied him along the seashore and looking at him while he sailed away. For sometime, I used to stay along the seashore where the moonlit night reflected in the most peaceful sea and waiting for the meteor shower. When the falling star appeared, I mentioned a wish; a wish to see my mother.
My father so to speak is the most ideal father for me. Starting my mother died, he even ceded his life, but because of love for me, he had stayed strong throughout the days when hunger and thirst were coming inside our house. He is just a fisherman, but he knows everything. He is just a father, but he knows how to handle me with care. He both serves as the father and a mother until he has given me enough feathers to fly. He is just a fisherman who inspires me to listen to his stories in life. He is just a fisherman, but he molds my mind from ignorance to wisdom. I become an educated person who aspires to become a prominent figure of the community. However, when graduation came, all my dreams fell inside the box of despondency. Nothing! Nothing, but tears fell down on my face. I wanted to tear all the sweet memories in me. I wanted to curse my life in the midst of ignorance. Useless! Useless I said.
When I went home, I accidentally caught my attention to stare at the “baruto” sailing away while it was blown by the playful wind. This recalled my childhood memories with my father who by now still sails away for fishing even he is now in his old age. This is the replica of my metaphysical world where I have known by my father that he really loved my mother that is why, he refused to attend my graduation because every time he sees me on the stage, he remembered my mother. Starting when I graduated from elementary until college, he never attended my graduation.
It was sad, but fulfilling in my part.
Now, I come to realize that life is full of secrets, which reveal the truth when it is already in the right time and the right place.









March 30, 2008
Almeda’s Boarding House
Legazpi City

What Made Her Complete

When I was a child, there was a woman who happened to be married unfortunately with these polygamous men who gave her five children.
She married to her first husband, an abroad whom she knew, was committed to another woman. This made her decide to annul their marriage and went back to her hometown with her eldest daughter and youngest son.
When she couldn’t be able to carry out her problems, she ventured out from the province and worked in the city as home servant where she met another guy who was a businessman. Because of the love that bound to them, they got married without knowing that this man was already tied to his legal wife. When she knew it, she decided to leave him, but the man pleaded her not to go and fought his love for her with the consent of his legal wife.
However, when her first husband and auntie knew that she was getting married, they asked her to get back those children to them for the sake of their future and they sent them even it was against her will; while, the businessman built a house for her and shared his wealth with her. Out of their love, the man gave her two offspring, an eldest son and a daughter.
Several years of their relationship, she never thought that somehow her husband would make her a widow. Starting when her husband died, she took the responsibility of being the father and the mother of her two children. She indeed cultivated the land of her farm and planted corn and root crops. These sufficed their daily needs.
When her children from her first husband knew her situations, they visited her and never went back in their father’s home instead they stayed with her. Through the hard times, they were united each other and kept themselves worked for toils altogether.
Her eldest daughter continued her studies in their province until she finally finished her tertiary degree with flying colors. Fortunately, she became a licensed teacher in English Language and taught in the secondary school somewhere in Manila. While teaching, she met an Australian guy who happened to be in loved with her and happily married. She is now living with her husband in Australia.
As mother, she had almost ceded her life when she knew that her third husband, a policeman, who gave her a son, was also committed to another woman who was now his legal wife and when her two sons, the youngest son of her first husband and the eldest of her second husband, were influenced by illegal drugs. It seemed a curse for her that made her life miserable. Yet, it is a prerogative that human beings are intertwined with difficulties in life, which teaches her to earn strong will and immeasurable faith in God who truly blessed her two sons’ transformation; from being addictive to alcohol and drugs, they become productive children; the eldest of her second husband, though was not able to finish his studies in secondary, is about to be married with a successful nurse who is presently working in England; the youngest son of her first husband has already realized to pursue his studies. Her youngest daughter is still continuing her studies in the elementary. Her eldest son of her third husband is under the nourishment of her brother who is impotent.
Despite her ill-fated relationship with those guys and those tedious tasks bequeathed to her as a woman, she could still wear the colorful mask that brought her to real life of woman’s imperfections.
Her pure heart and kindness to people are the sources of her winning in the Barangay Election as one of the Council Members. Her prolific mind and love to her community inspire her to serve and make the council in the limelight of honor and pride.
As I grew matured, I never expect that I could personally talk with her. I thought, it was just a mere manifestation of my fertile imagination. I thought, I would just keep it by myself and let it be gone in my memory. But, alas, my innocence is still fresh and my gratitude for her as a mirror of my mother and a friend of mine remain.
These are the woman in her that made her complete.

One Peso

“Til Pito!” These are the words I have always been heard when Harris, a three year old boy asked me one peso upon arriving from the city. Without a doubt, I gave him one peso coin. “Talamat Til!” This was his words of appreciation after he received this simple humanitarian gift, which unveils in his innocent face the joy and contentment.

I could still barely recall when my mind was full of innocence I also asked one peso from my father; but, he refused to give me a coin. This made me stumble and frantically cried while my father was busy drinking tuba with his friends. Since I couldn’t be able to stop crying, he gave me a whipping beat that caused of my unending crying until, he dragged me for home while suffering the beat of his palm.

This was when I was young and innocent lad.

One day, when I went home for Christmas vacation, my father asked me one peso for him to buy a coconut candy. I pretentiously answered him back that I couldn’t give him one peso because I don’t have coins. I could reflect in his face the anger and dissatisfaction of an old man. When he was about to leave, I called him and gave him one peso coin. I could still refresh in my memory how discontented he was while receiving the coin.

For the child, one peso has contributed a complete joy in his being; but, to the adult, it brought anger and dissatisfaction.

Similarly, as I grew older, the more I become matured the more I need bulk of money. One peso for me is just a coin. It does not bring me joy anymore. It makes me incomplete. Discontentment vividly uncovers on my face. I can’t do nothing, instead cry and make me busy with my work just to earn more than one peso even it is against my will. I forced myself to work even I am not in the right mood. Always, my mind thinks and reminds me about my daily needs. I don’t have peace of mind. I can hardly fulfill the bliss of solitude and tranquility. I am in the material world where money is always the talk of the town even the young and elder one.

This is the old age in me.

“Til Pito!” These are the words oftentimes remind me the complete life of a child. These are the words that reawaken my childish wants. These are the words that restore my innocence. These are the words that lead me find tranquility and happiness.

“Talamat Til!” These are the words that remind me to appreciate what I have and I am about to receive. These help me find the contentment of life. These bring me respite from temporary happiness.

Every time Harris meets me anywhere, he always asks me one peso and I give him now two pesos. These two pesos surely give him two million of happiness.

These are the two sides of a coin in me.

BERKS

One day, one of my students frantically asked me about my crush. Seemingly, I was a dumb person who couldn’t even utter a single word. With this, after four months of being pretentious about my feelings towards him, I have forced to disclose the truth of trepidation that I was in loved with one of my students named Berks. This is the sweetest name, which I used to call him.
Everybody was looking at each other, which reflected in their eyes the ambiguousity about the revelation of the truth. That moment was rather engulfed with silence and excitement. It was a surprise indeed, but a mixture of embarrassment in my part.
Wanted to be an independent person, I have lived in a boardinghouse nearby our home. Within this house, I have just gone out in my room whenever I would have attended my classes at a barrio high school. I seldom walked throughout the community because I was afraid that somebody might intrude into my privacy.
This was I, whenever I have had a problem. I have just kept it by myself. Aloof. Intimidated. Weak. And Hopeless.
It was July when I have firstly met Berks in my boardinghouse. He is indeed the grandson of my landlady. He was then unexpectedly suffering from an excruciating operation in an appendix. It was indeed a coincidence, which I have never been anticipated that we could talk each other undoubtedly. Along with our conversation, I have known that his mother decided to transfer him in our school where I was assigned as Local Secondary School Board teacher. This has brought me the world with hopeful smile.
As a teacher, I should not let myself engage in this kind of affairs, but how can I not mend this inevitable emotion knowing the fact that my heart had spoken the hyperbolic feelings towards him.
Yes, I am a product of a prominent state university; however, I never thought and somehow dreamed to attract with my students. Indeed, before I meet him, I was a person who wore a horde of laurels; a person who is full of aspirations in life; ready to serve the humanity with my utmost competence, honesty, commitment, and professionalism in the art of teaching.
While going through these pages, I have become nonchalant to pursue all my endeavors. I have become pessimist and narrow minded. Seemingly, my life is not complete without him. He is always in my mind. I couldn’t even resist the time to stare at him closely when we have seen each other. I oftentimes dream him to go beside me to fill all the care and love, which my family cannot instantly give to me; and mesmerize to live with him the rest of my life.
With this, I have come to realize that he is not the obstacle of my purposes on earth rather he is the music of my soul.
I can barely recall our sweet memories whenever I was tired and groggy, he made me lively; whenever I was discouraged, he gave me hope; whenever I was in doubt, he gave me faith; whenever I was in solitude, he gave more his time to talk with me; whenever I was financially worried, he gave me comfort and inspiration; whenever I was in dilemma, he gave me the right direction; and, whenever I was out of control, he made me behaved and refined.
For me, he is the perfect and valiant hero I have ever known. He is presumably the Paris of my Life. These are what I believe, but all my friends were against with him. They said that he was just the toxic of my career and the rocky road that nobody can be traveled by.
Yet, knowing that Berks is naughty and rude in the class or in the community so to speak; I never put myself in a quadrant of embarrassment and despondency instead I have become proud of myself and letting patiently all the barriotic people angry with me because I believe he is the irony of what they think of and see in him. Ironically, he is intelligent, sweet, understanding, respectful, musically inclined, courageous, open-minded, and thoughtful.
With all the pessimistic ideas have brought about by the changing fortunes of time are turning to the extreme realism and naturalism. This has spoken of the real scenario that life is a bank of mysteries, which even the gifted people can never predict when this will become a fossils of truth. Nevertheless, we look it into our hearts and looking at our own identity.
Now, I believe that Berks is my living angel who saves me from darkness.




August 29, 2007
Oroña’s Residence
Legazpi City

“Diskarte Lang!”

While riding in a motorboat via Masbate to Pilar, I accidentally talked with the Captain of the so called lantsa, as Masbateño calls it. Along with our conversation, I asked him a question, “Ano an guina himo niyo pag-naga biyahe sa oras san tagbaludan?” He replied me, “Diskarte Lang!”

I remember when I was still a child, I dreamed myself riding on a sailing boat, which was blown by the strong wind to the distant place; a place where no one could be found, away from family and friends. Longingness then engulfed my solitude. I cried. In the midst of my consciousness, I found myself lying on bed. Suddenly, I asked myself, “What does it mean?”

This dream indeed bothered my innocent mind. But, as I developed my spiritual dimension, I have realized that this was the leading path of my adventures.

Undeniably, during my college life, I found myself in the underworld where Hades invited me to surrender. However, because of my faith in and love of God, I survived. I was being free from burdens and confusions.

This started my journey on earth where I found somebody’ and nobody’s who comforted me much in time of troubles.

On earth, survival is always the course of the study. To exist is to earn perseverance, without it, no one will survive.

Being once a student like the other, I valued most both intelligence and diligence. I worked as a Student Assistant, earning P10 per hour. I worked as a local writer, earning P2,000 per month. I worked as a family tutor, earning P1,500 or more per month. And I served the college publication for almost four years.

To sum it all, intelligence plus diligence equals my achievement.

In contrast of my achievement, tearfully walked the whole campus of the University just to send the communications, which were done by a certain office where I was assigned. I fearfully wrote assigned topics and hesitantly accepted the money, which our publisher gave to me. Sometimes, I angrily called the attention of some of my tutees whenever the shown me disruptive behaviors. How many times I prepared their foods whenever their mothers lately arrived in their home. But, I was so happy when one of the mothers of my tutees invited me for snack, lunch or supper either and gave me sum of money for my fare. Thus, I felt I was floating in the air when some of the readers appreciated my articles. But, I was discouraged when some of my professors gave me a very unfair grade.

Yet, I never regret.

I never blame my professors whenever I received unsatisfactorily grades because it was my fault. I put myself down. I did not join in the class discussion if my professor was boring. I did not listen well to what the discussants tackled about. I was busy in fact talking with strangers for my articles. Sometimes I was doubt to go for home because of family problems. That is why, I used to go to the bar to gain more courage. It was then the sublime of a bottle, which actually encouraged me to stand. But, no one knows this, I have spent my religious hours in the Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration where I meditatively confessed and talked with God all the burdens within me just to gain power for my spiritual battle.

Despite these, I never regret.

For me, the value of P10 per hour, P2,000, and P1,500 per month is equivalent to the value of my service. But, a grade of 2.8 or 3.0 either is not the value of my academic performance.

Still, I never regret.

What is 1.0 if I would only develop my personality in the four corners of the classroom? However, when the registrar posted the names of the graduating students, I have realized that a grade of 2.8 is the merit of diploma.

The Quality of my diploma does not only the prize of my efforts and sacrifices, but of course, it is the worth of my family, friends, tutees, professors who are the unsung heroes and heroines, and most of all the unending spiritual guidance of our God.

Look! Still Mona Lisa’s smile dressed my world; the world of unemployment; the world of materialism; the world of political upheavals; the world of poverty; and, the world of uneducated degree holders.

In spite of my world, I never regret.

As a young completed teacher, I wish I shall be patiently taught my student in the pursuit of a valued-academic excellence, shall inspire them to restore the lore and glory of our folks, and shall encourage them to ne the catalysts of the insurrected pasts.

Yet, I may not be a perfect teacher of the people. I may not be a perfect teacher by the people. I may not be a perfect teacher for the people. But, I can be an epitome of a great teacher. A great teacher who is not off with the people. A great teacher who cannot be bought by the money of the people. And a great teacher who is for the poor people.

If these not happen, I will regret the whole chapter of my life.

With this, I must regret.

Finally, after six years in college, I miss nothing. I feel contented will all my sorrows and ecstasy. But, all the things, which I should miss is that, how impossible I survive.

As the captain of the motorboat replied, “Diskarte Lang!”